Friday, March 18, 2005

just rip out my heart and tear it to shreds, why don't ya?!!

i just got a call from the director at micah's daycare.

her: "it's not an emergency or anything." (they always start off like that.) "it's just that we had a situation with micah and it's never happened before, so i wanted to give you a head's up."

me: "oh-kaay..."

her: "all of the other kids were eating lucky charms and micah wanted some. so, i told her she couldn't have any because she's allergic."

me: (to myself) okay... so far, so good...

her: "and that's when she started hysterically crying... oh, see, now i'm going to start crying again, this just upset me so much..."

me: (to myself) you were both crying - my god - what happened?!

her: "so, she takes my face in her hands and says, "ree-rah, (maria) i don wanna be lergic!"

me: "ooohhh..." *tearing up*

her: "and so i told her i'd make her something special..." *pauses* "are you okay?... i'm so sorry to do this to you at work..."

me: "no, no, i'm glad you called... she's never said anything like that before..."

her: "so, i got her a rice cake and made a face on it with some fruit and she just loved it! of course, then the other kids wanted what micah had so micah said to them, "no! dis is my special! right, ree-rah?!" and i said, yes, micah, it's your special. no one else can have one."

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can you see why i love this place? talk about going above and beyond. they really love my daughter. it's so hard as a working parent to drop your kids off in someone else's care. leaving her day after day, missing her, missing her growing up, missing the new things she does, missing moments like this when you just want to run to your child and hold her tight and make all the hurt go away...

it's.just.so.hard.

but. (because there is a *but*.) at least she's in a place where she's loved and where she has such positive and wonderful relationships. what more could i want for her?

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