moving on part 2
The other big event that spurred my abrupt pulling of Micah from the class was a situation with the assistant teacher, Miss D. Before this incident, I actually liked Miss D. She's more strict with the kids in that she actually disciplines. Which is a good thing. Come on, fourteen 3-year-olds in one room, you need some discipline.
So, Milan and I are riding together to pick up Micah from school. She's in the back seat on the way home and we've been having major problems for about 3 weeks now so on a daily basis I have been asking her about her day.
me: did you have fun today?
micah: yes
me: what did you play?
micah: i play wif S and JM and we play princesses and dress up and the marryin game
me: that sounds like fun! did you have fun with your teachers?
micah: mm-hmm
me: micah, do you like Miss L?
(each day the answer is different)micah: no... she not nice, mommy
me: but you like Miss D, right, she's nice.
micah: no, i no like Miss D
me: why not?
micah: she grabs me mommy.
me:
(red flag up but trying to filter out the 3-yr-old slant like maybe Miss D wouldn't let her jump out of a window or something) you mean like to hug you? is that how she grabs you?
micah: no, she didn't break my hand, mommy, but it
really hurt.
milan and i just stared at each other stunned
me: she grabbed your hand today?
micah: yeah
me: does she grab your hand a lot?
micah: um... sometimes she grabs me, yeah, but she didn't break my hand, mommy, she just almost break-ded (broke) it
And yes, Miss D is still employed there. She does not, however, have any contact with my kid. I have been promised that Micah will never be in the care of Miss D or Miss L again. This center is really going down the tubes. I'm so happy with her new class though. She has 3 teachers to 15 kids (because there are 12 boys and some are really rambunctious and one of the teachers has a slight learning and physical disability so they brought in a co-assistant who is awesome!) and she spends time on the computer, is writing her letters and numbers, traces well, cuts well... She's completely different.
In the last 2 weeks or so, however, Micah has been pissing herself constantly. We've tried everything. Everything. I put up a potty chart and for the first week she had 1 dry day. On Saturday, her behavior was so rotten that we had had it and packed up all her toys (pretty much). Now, before your heart breaks, would you like to hear Micah's reaction? She helped Milan pack them away. Then, when the babysitter came over she said, Miss J, I can't play with any toys because I pee in my pants. Then, she had an accident before we could get out the door and 2 before the babysitter gave up and changed her into a pull-up and pajamas.
Then suddenly Monday morning she woke up saying, I am going to be dry today! And she's been dry ever since! (Yes, I know it's only Friday, but come on!!!) And she has also had the best attitude. I don't think I've heard this child whine or cry since Sunday. She's helpful and has been answering yes to our requests rather than no.
I don't know how long this is going to last but I am overjoyed by it and living up every single minute of pure parenting bliss! This doesn't happen often that you feel so good as a parent!
moving on...
Back in
October, I wrote about Micah not "clicking" with her new teacher. That's one word for it anyway. I was feeling very frustrated with the situation because the teacher CLEARLY did not like my child and if I could feel it, Micah could feel it. Micah began acting out. For the first time in the 3 years we've been in this center, I got a phone call at working regarding her bad behavior. She had become the class clown. In the afternoons when I would pick her up, I would ask this teacher, "So, how was she today?" In the two months that I put up with this poor excuse for a teacher, I got only 1 of 2 responses both coupled with a head tilt and shoulder shrug. They were either "Bad." - without explanation - or "Better..." - without explanation. She was also having mulitple accidents a day and one day the teacher told me that Micah had "peed on Miss A." She seriously told me this. What had actually happened is that Micah was wet and when the teacher picked her up, Micah told her she was wet.
Finally, just before Thanksgiving, I had had it with her (the teacher - Miss L.). I walked into the classroom and one little boy was marching around the room with a small pink purse in hand and as he passed another child, he would smack them in the head with the bag. I watched. and watched. and watched. and the teacher did nothing. Meanwhile, I'm searching in Micah's cubby for her glove. We have one - where is the other? So, I say to the teacher, "Have you seen Micah's glove?" "No..." And she starts helping me search the other cubbies. After a few minutes, I say, "Micah, do you know where your glove is?" "Umm... S. (a boy in her class) has it." "Are you sure?" "Mmm-hmm, S. has it. He wanted it." To which the teacher slams shut a cubby and says to her, "Micah! You have to tell me these things! (Insert audible sigh.)"
So, I pull Micah back by her shoulders, turn her around and look her in the eye and say - a little too loudly so that Miss L can hear me - "Don't worry, baby. It's not your responsiblity." and Micah smiles.
Meanwhile purse boy has continued smacking kids so I go and take his purse away and put it on the counter the teacher is leaning on. I tell the kid that it's not nice. Two minutes later, he takes back the purse, without a word from the teacher, and starts it up again. Some of the kids, by the way, are crying and fighting with the boy telling him to stop it.
Now, I sit down and start reading to Micah and before I know it, I have 5 kids in my lap. Guess who comes by and smacks one of the little girls with a purse? We finish the book. As I'm explaining that I'm not going to read it again, I watch one little girl push the other in the chest and girl 2 falls down backwards onto her bottom. I go to her and ruffle her hair and ask if she's alright. She says yes. She then brushes herself off and as she walks by girl 1, she shoves her right into the cubbies and they sway and rock and the girl says Ow. Still no response from the teacher. So we leave.
Next afternoon, I walk in and say hello to Micah, the class and the teacher. It's free play time and a bit chaotic
as always. The room has absolutely no structure. This little girl, J, is banging 2 silver mixing bowls together. IT IS THE MOST ANNYOYING SOUND EVER!!!
So, the teacher who is about 15 feet away from her calls out, "J... Put the bowls away..." J keeps playing. BANG!BANG!BANG! (This little girl is ALWAYS in her own little world - she's the type of kid you have to make eye contact with for anything to stick. Now, if I as a parent can figure this out - surely her teacher - who is with her 40 hours a week or more - can figure this out.)
Teacher calls out a little louder, "J, put the bowls away." BANG!BANG!BANG! A bit louder - almost yelling - calls out again. J now hears and tries to pick them up but they are flipped over and she can't get her little fingers under the lid. BANG!BANG!BANG! Teacher yells, "J! Now!" Now at this point, J still hasn't registered that Miss L. is getting angry - she's been humming the whole time and hasn't missed a note. As she is walking them over to their designated spot (they hold the plastic play food in the shelf), they're still banging together (of course they are, they're metal bowls) BANG!BANG!BANG!
Now she's trying to stuff them into the shelf BANG!BANG!BA- when suddenly the teacher screams -
J! - J literally jumps 2 feet in the air she's so startled and backs up until she hits the wall and is standing with her chin drooped to her chest. She stood there for a little while before she walked over to some other toys, with her chin still dropped. This teacher never once even looked in her direction except to yell. Never bothered to watch and see whether she listened, never even bothered to explain to J why she wasn't allowed to play with the bowls in the first place. (They are on the toy shelf afterall.) J doesn't consider them annoying, none of the children did. So, the next time J walks into that classroom she's going to think to herself, Hmm... I wonder what toys it is okay to play with? Why did Miss L. get mad at me? Is she still mad at me? etc... I was enraged.
I walked out (with Micah!) and went straight to the director and demanded that when we returned to school on Tuesday (after Thanksgiving) Micah be moved into the preschool room.
It's going really well! She's the youngest by far. All the other kids are 4, the last of whom turned 4 in early December and Micah won't be 4 until late June. But she's making work. And the director said that she's a different child. Quiet. Respectful. And she stopped having accidents the moment she switched rooms!** I'm amazed! Yeah for Micah! :)
**More on this but I'll save it for a later post.
babyisms
some of my current favorites:
1. uppies or kip (instead of pick) me up
2. may could i have... (she always says the 2 together)
3. she says "ack-chewy" (actually) as in "ack-chewy, mommy, i wan milk, not water."
4. her obsessions with monsters, bad guys and spiderman
"mommy, you a bad guy for sayin' i go nite-nite. the monsters are goin' get you and spiderman is not savin' you. i tell him don't save you this time."
5. our ritual with books is for me to read it to her and then she likes to read it to me. each page she reads begins "lass (last) time..." (i'm waiting for her to add "at band camp")
6. she also remembers everything and refers to "lass time" if talking about yesterday or when we let her get away with something
one time over 3 months ago!!
7. she gets really annoyed by "idgies" - wedgies - it's hysterical! "i have a idgy - MOMMY!! - i have a IDGY!!"
my parenting trick
This is Micah's favorite treat. Licorice. The Allsorts are wonderful because they have 2 fruity stripes mixed in with the black licorice.
So last week, I go to pick up a new tub and **gasp** Trader Joe's doesn't carry them anymore!!! AAACCKK!!
How in the world am I going to get this child to do anything for me now??
