Wednesday, March 30, 2005

attention all officers - micah the manipulator at large. considered to be cute and convincing.

a few nights ago, i taught micah the song "you are my sunshine" (to which i only know 2 versus and a chorus). so, for that night and the next day she would tell me i was her sunshine. just try to keep your heart from melting when your two-year-old hugs your neck and says, "you my sunsine, mommy."

well, that night she didn't want to go to bed so she said to me,
"i can't go to bed, mommy."
"why not?"
"cuz i you sunsine!!"

then, yesterday, when i wouldn't give her a lollipop - hey i didn't even have any!! - she said to me, "you not my sunsine, mommy."

sheesh - what's it going to be like when she's 16????

squiggly lines, squiggly lines, squiggly lines

her "mother! but i have to go to this party and smoke pot and participate in unprotected sex."
me "i said no."
her "fine, you're not my sunshine anymore! and i am not going pee-pee in the potty!!"

Friday, March 25, 2005

micah's classmate

digging for gold!

tiny - photo friday

micah's school had a petting zoo come - there are photos in my flickr account - and i snapped this one before the kids got to her. baby chick - pretty perfect for easter!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

grand theft bunny

saturday night we went to the "nice" mall about a half an hour away. it's huge! newly re-done, great stores that you didn't think you could find outside of the city, blah, blah, blah.

so, i have a gift certificate to kb toys and there's one in that mall. we went in looking for a tunnel for micah because she's been begging for one, but this store was ghet-to!! the shelves were empty and the store is tiny - only three aisles, each about 10 ft. long.

micah chose a plush elmo and a "princess dress". (blech... where did she get this girly shit?? oh, yeah, daycare... blech.) so, we're waiting in line and there's this mother who's dressed like a 16 yr. old and also has a 16 yr. old and a 4 yr. old who's in a stroller. the 4 yr. old is the biggest brat i've ever seen. she's freaking out about her mom buying her the dolly.

in front of these people is a woman with her son and the woman is arguing with the cashier over 10 cents. you got it, 10 cents, a dime. apparently, the screaming brat isn't annoying her because she argued for about 15 minutes - the cashier even called over the manager. ridiculous. so, milan takes the stroller (with micah in it) to the front of the store to wait because she's getting reckless and he's annoyed.

i finally get out of there. so, we're walking down the mall and get to haagen daas and milan wants a bailey's shake. i'm ordering when he says, "uh-oh, look what she did..."

she had taken the bunny. the "easter bunny" she called it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

kitchen, easter and kb toys

i posted the photos of our newly painted kitchen (thanks for your help, mom) on flickr. tomorrow, i'm going to post about the easter bunny and micah's grand theft bunny from kb toys.

brat attack

micah has been giving us a hard time for the past few nights at bedtime. (and it doesn't help that she REFUSES to nap on weekends and thus usually crashes around 4pm, pushing back her bed time.) so, it was no surprise that she was a crank monster last night. to add insult to injury, milan had a roaring headache so the "patient parent" was not so patient last night.

the result?

internet, you would be so proud of me. i never yelled. not once. i did the "stern" voice a few times where you lower you voice and speak clearly but i never raised it. thumbs up for me!

it wasn't easy, let me tell you. she whined to no end, yelled, screamed, demanded to be picked up only to hit and kick us. so, what did i do? well, i'll tell you. i put her in her room. not in a time out, per se, but i just told her that since she couldn't be nice to milan and i she needed to spend some time playing alone and that i'd be back to get her once she calmed down and stopped crying. and then, internet, i shut.the.door.

i lasted just less than 5 minutes before i sent milan to get her. in the meantime, we were actually able to speak to each other and finish making dinner. at one point, milan said to me, "it's so quiet..." and we laughed and laughed even though there was a screaming two-yr-old in the background. (that door must be well insulated.) anyway, she screamed at milan, "NO!! I!WANT!MOMMY!" and SLAMMED the door in his face. so, i went in.

she was doing that thing when they get themselves so worked up that it's crying, hiccupping and screaming all in one and she was a sweaty, teary mess on the floor. i thought she was going to puke she was crying so hard and she couldn't breathe.

so, i picked her up and comforted her and she was hiccupping, "you yell at me, mommy. you hurt my feelins." (in my head in a whiny voice: "did NOT!!") i just told her to relax and she could speak to me when she was breathing better. i asked her to take a few deep breaths and tried to make my examples silly, but she wasn't having it. "you (breath) yell (breath) at (breath) ME!" WAAH!!!

it finally ended and she went to bed, but man was i exhausted this morning!!

*** i really didn't yell at her!! but who wants to go through a "yes you did" "no i didn't" argument with a 2-yr-old?? she'd totally win!***

Sunday, March 20, 2005

i saw god this morning

and it was in the form of the clock which read 8:06 am!! ****HALLELUJAH**** then, i went BACK to sleep. i know, i know, you think i'm lying but i'm telling you that it was 8:20 when the little "princess" finally came into our room and she was (ever so appropriately) dressed in this:

Friday, March 18, 2005

just rip out my heart and tear it to shreds, why don't ya?!!

i just got a call from the director at micah's daycare.

her: "it's not an emergency or anything." (they always start off like that.) "it's just that we had a situation with micah and it's never happened before, so i wanted to give you a head's up."

me: "oh-kaay..."

her: "all of the other kids were eating lucky charms and micah wanted some. so, i told her she couldn't have any because she's allergic."

me: (to myself) okay... so far, so good...

her: "and that's when she started hysterically crying... oh, see, now i'm going to start crying again, this just upset me so much..."

me: (to myself) you were both crying - my god - what happened?!

her: "so, she takes my face in her hands and says, "ree-rah, (maria) i don wanna be lergic!"

me: "ooohhh..." *tearing up*

her: "and so i told her i'd make her something special..." *pauses* "are you okay?... i'm so sorry to do this to you at work..."

me: "no, no, i'm glad you called... she's never said anything like that before..."

her: "so, i got her a rice cake and made a face on it with some fruit and she just loved it! of course, then the other kids wanted what micah had so micah said to them, "no! dis is my special! right, ree-rah?!" and i said, yes, micah, it's your special. no one else can have one."


can you see why i love this place? talk about going above and beyond. they really love my daughter. it's so hard as a working parent to drop your kids off in someone else's care. leaving her day after day, missing her, missing her growing up, missing the new things she does, missing moments like this when you just want to run to your child and hold her tight and make all the hurt go away...


but. (because there is a *but*.) at least she's in a place where she's loved and where she has such positive and wonderful relationships. what more could i want for her?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

oh, she's NOT suppossed to say those things... okay, one of these days i SWEAR i'll make that clear to her

two nights ago, micah was playing on the refrigerator with her "letters" when she blurted out "suckin bish". i was by the stove preparing dinner and milan was talking to me from the doorway. we immediately turned to each other with those, "no... she couldn't have just said what we think she said..." incredulous expressions.

me: "what, micah?"
her: "suckin' bish" *grinning*
me: "what?" because, come on, this is HYSTERICAL!!
her: "suckin' bish, suckin' bish, suckin' bish" *in a sing-songy voice*
milan: "micah, we don't say things like that. those words aren't nice."
me: "what hrmph did you hrmph say, micah?"
her: "suckin' bish, mommy. suckin' bish."

by the way, she's saying *fucking bitch* in case anyone didn't get it. and i did, eventually, team up with milan on the discipline thing. this kid's in daycare, after all, she can't go teaching all the other kids bad words even though this one brat, er, young man, calls her stupid, fathead and cornhead all the time.

when i went to daycare and told the teacher in front of micah, that if she uses inappropriate words at school i am to be called and i will come get her and take her home, i made sure to spell each of the offending words. um... except when i added that "my language is so bad. i have to watch myself. i also tend to say motherfucker when i screw something up." without spelling out motherfucker. ahem... yeah, i'll be going now...

Monday, March 14, 2005

classical conditioning won't work on me

how many times have those parenting books tried to tell me? consistency, consistency, consistency! they say it's the ultimate parenting tool. i know. i've seen it work. i've seen the lack of it backfire in my face... and yet...

this morning, i felt like getting "dressed" for work and looking, smelling and FEELING like an actual human being. so, i succumbed to the cranky two year old's pleas through those full, sweetheart lips and those plump, edible cheeks and i put on a dora dvd.

i don't allow tv during on school days - so what a treat for her!

i'm totally going to pay for this.

for weeks. weeks and weeks.

she's going to be all, *whiny voice* "but mahm-my, lass time..."

venus and mars, alright

micah's friend carter came over on saturday while his parents went to a wedding. i love the way they play together. i have NEVER, in the 2 and a half years they've played together, seen them fight. at least until saturday.

he came over around 6pm and they played well before and during dinner but after dinner, as nightime got closer, they just bickered and bickered. they kept tattling on each other. my opinion with tattling is that i don't want to get involved unless absolutely neccesary. i'm not going to discipline one child just because the other tattled.

i think it annoyed them that i wouldn't take sides, but the conversations that insued between them were HYSTERICAL!

at one point, micah knocked over all the toys carter was playing with, so he hit her. (who could blame him?) so, micah came running with the fake tears looking for sympathy. i told her, "oh, he yeah? do you need me to kiss your boo-boo?"

unsatasified, she started at him in a stern voice, "you have to say me sorry, car-car! we don't hit!" so, carter comes running over to me (i'm sitting about 6 feet away by the way) with eyebrows furrowed, "she messed up my toys!" to which i said, "oh, yeah, that must have really angered you... maybe you guys should apologize to each other."

so micah says, "i sorry i messed up you toys, car-car." and he says, "that's okay." and she's just standing there waiting and finally says, "now you say me sorry, car-car." he just sat there eyebrows furrowed. she said it over and over again louder and louder...

until finally, after she had shut her trap because she gave up, he says, "i sorry i hit you, micah. you wanna play dis wif me?"

SO CUTE! just like a woman to nag and nag and just like a man to wait to say or do something until it can be considered his idea!! hee - hee.

** photos to come - i used regular film!! (gasp!!)**

Sunday, March 13, 2005


this morning, micah hiked her hula skirt up around her chest and said, "look, mommy, i a octopus."

Friday, March 11, 2005

trying to be polite or just plain stupid? - you decide.

inspired by supafine, i have a story from the archives for you.

milan, micah and i went down to virginia beach for a vacation back in may 2003. milan and i had only been dating 2 months. we were paying the fee to get on the dock and he had the baby in the backpack. the woman looked at us all and said to milan, "my goodness, she looks exactly like you!"

to milan! hello?!? the child is my mini-me? are you blind?

Thursday, March 10, 2005


lately, when i'm dressing micah she wants to pick out her own clothes. sometimes i can persuade her into the cute outfits, sometimes not. but the socks must always be her call.

so, this morning, after giving milan a hard time about which socks she wanted to wear she told me she didn't like the ones she had on and wanted to change them. i said, fine, go get new ones. when she came back with the new socks, she sat on my bed and we had the following exchange:

"mahn (milan) a dick, mommy."

"excuse me?"

"mahn a dick cuz he put all da socks in da drawer."

"well, honey, that's where they belong."

"oh." (quizzical look on her face) "but he still a dick, right mommy?"


is it wrong to have agreed with her instead of correcting her?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

very good, my little grasshopper

milan and i both forget everything. so we have this ongoing joke that we each have the short-term memory of a grasshopper. last night - i distinctly remember micah doing/saying 3 of the funniest things!!

i've been trying all day to remember... damn grasshoppers...

"mommy, can i use you cam-ra?"

our morning

when my mother came to visit, she brought a little toy ariel with her for micah because micah keeps referring to herself as a "pincess".

this morning, i realized that we had left it in milan's truck and we were taking my car this morning. micah was very upset but when we got in the car, we saw that milan had found the ariel and put it in my car! yeah! now he's her hero!

"no, mommy, don take a picture to me."

Monday, March 07, 2005

thank you

thank you grammy, for coming to visit and spoiling micah and giving us a night out even though we're lame and came home at a quarter to nine. (that was some damn good sushi, we had though.) and helping us paint our kitchen red.

Friday, March 04, 2005

dream a little dream for me

i'll preface this with mentioning that my mother (grammy to micah) came to visit. we picked her up last night at the airport.

so, this morning when micah woke up, i asked her the same questions i ask her every morning.

"did you sleep well?"

*nods yes*

"did you have nice dreams?"

*nods yes*

"what did you dream about?"

*smiles* "gam-mee"

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

band aid

for weeks, micah has been calling me to the tv everytime she sees a bambi commercial. it started with "look, mommy! rudolph!!! i wan rudolph! can i peas have rudolph, mommy? can i buy it at da store??!! *singing* rudolph the red nosed reindeer..." and i say to her that it's not rudolph but bambi. she caught on eventually and recently when she sees the commercial she calls, "band-aye, mommy, band-aye!!" which sounds like band-aid and i come running expecting bleeding boo-boos.

well, it was (finally) released yesterday. and since it coincided with the release of the mars volta cd, i was conveniently at circuit city. best buy and circuit city always put the new releases on sale their first week. each of these were $5 off so i thought what the hell.

the monster that has been my child lately, has actually been incredibly good these past couple of days - even at school. so, i suggested we watch it last night. (she isn't allowed tv during the school week - so what a treat!! -- and i was able to make dinner without screaming at anyone!!)

she loved it. she didn't understand the part where bambi's mother dies, because they don't actually show it but during the big fire scene she was scared. she jumped into my lap yelling, "band-aid! band-aid! help him mommy!" and for a minute there i thought she was crying, but i explained how his daddy was saving him and don't worry, he'll be okay. this is one *g* movie that should definitely be monitored by an adult.

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